Still at home @ 24

Advice #3.  Middle Child?…BEWARE

From the description of my current income, one could infer that my living situation is a little f’ed up. You would be correct. I am living the unimaginable lifestyle, 24 years old, broke, sexually active and residing with my mom.  Actually, my bedroom is the same turquoise color I painted it in middle school.  

The Ongoing Battle

The level of resentment in this situation is rather low (on my  moms end); allow me to explain.  My mom did not pay for my college tuition and is not fronting my student loans; therefore, she has no financial resentment toward me.  I cook, clean and do laundry, therefore, no domestic resentment.  I have my own car, pay my own bills and do my best to come home before 2:00 am, therefore, no mental or anxious resentment.  So why am I the resentful one? Why do I always take my mom’s shit?  I borrow her dresses, shoes, purses, make-up, jewelry and even pajamas without asking.  I thieve her secret stashes of sugar-free gum, rice cakes and diet soda.  I often find myself eating her leftovers for dinner even though I am fully aware she is saving them for the following day’s lunch.  I will even take her last ten dollar bill even though I know she pays a toll on her way to work.  This is all built up anger of 24 years in the same home and 18 years of being…The Middle Child.

Middle child, why so miserable?

Shall I list the reasons?

1. In June 2005, I shared my high school graduation party with my older sister’s college graduation.
2. August 1992, my little brother was born and I was no longer the baby of the family.
3. Christmas 2006,  my older sister got a $300 GPS running watch and I got socks.

Middle Child Syndrome or (MCS) does exist, and the above are just mere examples of the hell I have lived through.  The middle children around the world, we did not simply bring this disease on ourselves, it is a curse.  The middle child in each family is neglected and abused.  I know what you are thinking, “If it is such torture why don’t you just move out?”  Well, Reader…why don’t you just BITE ME J

Living Off Pocket Change

Advice # 2.  Wait to cash in all savings bonds at age 23

Can't find a job...What’s a girl to do?

Miss Responsible (again that’s me) opted for the “best option” Why not go back to school?  I had so much fun the first time?  How hard can it be?  How the HELL am I going to pay for it?

Graduate School

I decided to take my “career” to the next level and apply to graduate school.  When applying to the Sport Management program I focused on my interests and what I wanted to learn, who did I think I was? This time around I needed to be more practical if I ever want to get a job.  My mom thought I should apply to medical school, “Doctors always have money, just become a doctor” clearly she is unfamiliar with the process, the one that does not begin with a BS in Sport Management.  So I focused on something I was already (slightly) good at, communicating.

 

The Job Associated with (aka paying for) Graduate School

So after being accepted into the program I needed to find a way to pay for this education crap.  So, I interviewed for a graduate assistant position, how hard could this be?  Well frankly, being a graduate assistant is HELL. 

“Reason why being a Grad Assistant SUCKS” #1: A salary of $9000 a year. 

To break that down for you, that is approximately, $ 788.67 (duh of course we pay city taxes) a month, for only ten months.

$ 788.76-  hmm, how far can this go?

-$ 94.20-  God damn smart phone!

-$187.23- Freakin’ ACS student loan corp.

-$151.67- Get off my back Citibank

-$ 68.98-  My car is worth less than this monthly insurance

-$127.00- Really? I’ve always wanted to pay that much to ride SEPTA

So in total that leaves me $159.68 a month.  Really, REALLY? So every month I have the internal battle with myself, to spend or not to spend? That is the question.  My lack of incase of emergency cash is already slim so I might as well spend that money on things I love like…underwear, beer, guacamole and diet doctor pepper.    

The Beginning of Adulthood

Advice # 1 Being an adult SUCKS.

            When I was a teenager I craved independence.  All I wanted to do was move out, make money, get married and start a family.  Ten years later, I still live at home; have a negative balance on my checking account and no baby in sight.  Oh, how ironic. 

            Adulthood started September 21, 2005 when I moved to Philadelphia and started college.  Adulthood can be defined as, “freedom to drink and eat whatever I please”.  Adulthood was fabulous; I made friends, kissed boys, drank booze and ate A LOT of pizza. I spent $700 a month to live in an apartment with cockroaches and fight with room mates.  A Bachelor’s Degree, 20 pounds and four years later, college was over. 

“No Jobs for Drexel Students”

            This was published in the Philadelphia Inquirer two weeks before my pomp and circumstance. We were jobless and each student was about $50,000 in debt.  If the engineering students were shit out of luck, imagine what a Sport Management Degree was worth…absolutely nothing!  At this point I could make a list of the top 1000 reasons why adulthood sucked.  I moved back home to Suburbia, PA.  The job search was impossible; my degree sucked and gas was almost four dollars a gallon.

What is a college grad to do?

1. Nothing, live off your rich parents.  ( Most popular option)
2. Keep the job search going and fall into a major depression. (Eating and drinking your sorrows away until you are too fat and lazy to be loved)        
3. Avoid student loan collectors by fleeing the country (Illegal and also dangerous, but a good option)
4. Take whatever job and whatever price you can (The hard way)

After weighing my options I realized, my mom was broke, I wasn’t craving any cocktails and Citibank already had my cell phone number.  Miss Responsible took option four.